A light at the End of the Tunnel

I can see now where I need to go now Praise God!

It's obvious from my posts that I've really been struggling these past few weeks with my mental health. It's even been difficult for me to write my gratitude journal...as I've read in the mychurch community that readers don't like to read posts that are about the writer. I've come to the conlusion that the gratitude journals and my other writings are for me, not for others and they don't have to read them if they don't want to, but for some who want to know how hey can be praying for me or who are struggling with similar things, perhaps they will be a blessing. Either way, they are what they are. Others can take them or leave them. Also, I've had several confirmations this week that has allowed me to see that this is something God wants me to do. I'm not writing to please man, but for my recovery and for God.

Inspite of readers not caring for posts that have things pasted from other sources, I'm going to share a daily meditation that has ministered to me today. I'm trying to fight these discouraging thoughts that keep me from writing what I need to to help my thinking process.

TO HIM THAT OVERCOMES
By Chip Brogden
http://www.theschoolofchrist.org/articles/overcomes.html

"And has put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be the head over all things to the church" (Ephesians 1:22).

When we SEE an ever-increasing Christ Who is destined to fill all things then we will be delivered from smallness and narrow-mindedness. We do not overcome a thing by focusing our attention and directing our energies against that THING. "Things" will keep us busy from morning until night, and from night until morning. May God deliver us from "things" and show us His Son! We must learn to keep the focus of our heart on the Lord Jesus Christ, Who MUST increase. Then there is no room for "things" anymore. They are simply swallowed up in Victory.

I've re-read my last two private posts that were about my frustrations and identified some things that I need to put under Christ's feet so I can properly put my focus back on Him.
1) Not being able to control all the negative influences in my children's lives.
Not being able to fully protect them from people that harm them, and guide their sexual development.
2) Worry about finances for health issues and more living space for our growing family.
3) Saddness over rejection from my father, step mother, and older sister.
4) Fear of my response to the anger I feel when I'm around people who don't treat me and my kids respectfully. My fear is that I will act in unChristlike ways, and also anxiety over not knowing the "right" way to respond. Also, fear of the negative effects on my health (I have adrenal failure). In the past, large amounts of stress can take months to recover from.

My prayer: Lord, please help me to put these "things" under your feet where they belong. Help me to know that you are my provider, and your provisions are sufficient for me. Help me to love others as you do, even when they do not love me or my children. Fill me with a love that overflows to all that I'm in contact with. Lord, you know the problems I've had with anger in the past. I'm afraid of putting myself in situations that are likely to provoke it. Lord, I know the effects of the heavy metals on my emotions and sometimes feel so utterly out of control. But now I realize that YOU are in control. My strength will come from you. I'm trusting you Lord to help me have your perspective, your love for all others even when they are not treating me the way I'd like to be treated. Lord, you didn't mince words with the pharacies, and you shook the dirt off your feet as you left Nazareth when they rejected you. But yet you forgive those that sin against you and willingly allowed yourself to be mistreated as part of the Father's plan on the cross. Lord, help me to know when to do what. Oh, how I beg for your Spirit to lead me. I pray that I will hear you clearly so that I can obey. You are in control. I submit myself totally to you. Lord, be my Lord in all these areas that are trying to cause anxiety and stress. I'm so grateful to you that I'm able to fully trust you. I love you. I pray that you will increase in me and that I will decrease.
Amen!